After the Irish of Domhnall Ó Luasa (Dan Lucey)
As I headed
for the mountain lake
With my rod
and line to do some fishing,
A puck goat
came and blocked my way:
I’m telling
you that puck could kill you.
Allaloo,
that puck could kill you.
Allaloo,
pillaloo,
Allaloo,
the puck could kill you.
I politely
asked him to shoo off.
But it was clear that he did not intend to.
He made to
puck me with his horns;
I ran away in the other direction.
He charged
and pucked me in the rear,
Which tore
my trousers into tatters.
I burned with temper and with fear;
And then we had a fearsome battle.
I wish a cop would come along
And take
that goat into detention.
And let me back to the mountain lake
Where I could resume my fishing.
And what
about the Parish Priest?
He should
condemn him from the altar,
And damn his
owners down to hell
For being the cause of this disorder.
If I could catch him by the horns,
I'd tie him to a post or tree-trunk.
Then I'd nip off and leave him there,
Tethered with my football colours.
______________________________________________________________________________
The original song in Irish tells of how a farmer, going out to help his neighbour, finds his way blocked by an angry puck goat. He tackles the goat, which races off with the man on his back and confronts a policeman and then the parish priest. In "Englishing" the song, I give a slightly different account based on an episode from real life. A German couple on holiday in Ireland, going fishing in a mountain lake (Lough Easkey in the Ox Mountains in County Sligo), found their way blocked by a puck goat who came at them and almost knocked them into the lake. They hailed a passing car, and, with the advice and help of the motorist, managed to catch the goat by the horns and tie him to a stump. They had no rope and had to used the colours of their football team to tie him. The parish priest and the policeman were not on the scene, but I don't leave them out of the tale.
Goats can graze happily on the mountain side. However, when foolish tourists feed them once, they come back every time they see a human, demanding junk food. Lacking in graciousness, the only diplomacy they understand is aggression. I am advised, however, that it is easy to quieten them: just feed them some of that junk food!
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