The Great Six-O

(From Outrageous Poems)

The great Six-O to me has come;
Another phase of life begun;
Family grown and duty done;
Pass on my mantle to my son;

              Puck it!

 Now my mind begins to dwell
On pleasures that I should know well,
But never knew, the truth to tell,
Or of which I only got the smell;

              Puck it!

 The many things I have not done,
Jumped from a plane, the Channel swum;
Olympic medals never won,
Nor in the Eurovision sung;

              Puck it!

 All the pleasures that I have missed;
All those girls I never kissed;
All the nights I could have been pissed;
Yes! All the temptations I did resist;

              Puck it!

The time is short; it's running out.
Bring me another pint of stout.
And Girls, line up along the wall;
For Krunchie wants to kiss yiz all:

               Hop to it!